Coffee, anyone?

When I was a kid, in the mornings my father would tell us not to talk to him until he had his coffee.

"Dad! Kate took my favorite jeans!"

"I don't care. I haven't had my coffee yet."

"Dad! Mom said I couldn't stay the night at Charity's house this weekend. You already said I could! That's not fair!!!"

"I don't care. I haven't had my coffee yet."

It's like coffee drinkers simply can't function without their normal fix of the caffeinated, dark, rich, aromatic stuff.

And that's not all. Have you ever noticed that coffee drinkers always assume that everyone drinks coffee? In the business world, it's almost a requirement.

"Hey, let's go discuss this over coffee."

"Do you want to go grab a coffee and talk about that account?"

"Let's have our staff meeting at the coffee shop down the street."

"I'll bring coffee and donuts for the meeting on Thursday morning."

Ugh.

I must be some sort of a freak or something.

I hate coffee.

It really doesn't taste good.

Why can't it be a "diet pepsi break" or a "cupcake break" instead of a "coffee break?"

Does it offend you coffee drinkers if we "go for a coffee" and I don't actually get coffee? What if I order an Izze or a hot chocolate instead? Do I need a lesson in coffee shop etiquette?

I recently began working as an intern at a magazine. Each intern is assigned two editors as mentors. It's an amazing program and I know I'm going to learn a TON. Both of my mentor editors have already set up times to get together to discuss my career goals... over coffee.

Oh, the pressure! What should I do? Should I pretend that I like coffee or should I just be honest and order the hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream that I really want?

This is really a complicated social issue, so don't make fun of me.