It's a sickness... Kinda like those women who tan all the time, and never think they are tan enough... they end up looking like my favorite Coach purse... and kinda like those people who weigh like 90 pounds, and never think they are thin enough... oh yeah, that's called Anorexia... it's like OCD - it's sick, really. My entire day, every day, is spent thinking about when I will exercise, how I will exercise, whether or not I will have enough time to exercise, what really counts as exercise, how if I didn't have a kid I could exercise whenever I wanted, etc... It goes on and on.

Is it because I used to be so overweight and I am totally afraid of getting back to that point? Or is it because I love chocolate, and I probably eat at least 200 extra calories every day because of that love? Is it the TV shows or magazines that I see that have thin, gorgeous women all over them? Is it my insecurity and my need to be accepted and appreciated by men? I don't know.

I have this terrible feeling of guilt if the dog doesn't get his daily walk. I have the same feeling if I don't get my workout. Most days, I only have enough time for one or the other. So, I have talked myself into walking the dog as part of my exercise routine. That counts, right? Wrong. This walking really isn't CARDIO for me. My heart rate doesn't get to the point that it needs to get to because my dog loves to stop and sniff EVERYTHING... He also poops several times per walk. All this stopping doesn't work for me... What to do???
Maybe, stop obsessing. Walking is better than nothing. And, I do get about 3 runs in every week. The guilt happens because I can't run more than 3 days every week. But honestly, what I do every week is a lot more than so many people do. I should be happy that I am healthy and get to work out as much as I do.

See?! Sick. Seriously sick.


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