Married working mom looking for...friends?


This guy is my best friend lately

I've never had a hard time making friends. I'm outgoing and friendly, I like to have a good time. Even during high school, when my weight skyrocketed to more than 200 pounds and my home life was usually in turmoil, I used humor to poke fun at myself and was always surrounded by the fun, popular kids. I had two particularly close friendships in high school. You know the kind--we'd tell each other everything, practically live at each other's houses. Inseparable. We'd be happy just laying around watching TV together, painting our nails...doing anything, really. We knew the ins and outs of each other. We were like Forrest and Jenny. Peas and carrots.

Thanks to Facebook, those two girls are still my "friends," but we hardly even speak anymore. They're both married. They have children. I've thought to myself before, Well, people grow up, they change...friendships just don't last through all the various phases of life. But that's just not true. My husband has numerous friends that he has known since elementary school. Since they played Little League together. Why is it that those friendships have passed the test of time, but mine haven't? Are women more likely to change with age? To change based on their partners? To change after they have children?

Some friends from college have become super religious. Some are stay-at-home moms whose lives revolve around their children's. Some are still single and hit the town every weekend. Women who I once shared so much in common with now seem like apples to my orange.

As hard as it is to maintain long-term friendships, it seems just about as hard to make new friends these days as well. I'm really a middle-of-the-road kinda gal. I like to have fun, but not too much. I'm spiritual, but I don't go to church. I like to exercise, but I'm not a fanatic. I like to head to the mountains for a good day hike, but I really don't like sleeping in a tent or attempting to mountain bike. I like to eat healthy foods, but I occasionally enjoy something deep fried, chocolate, or both at the same time. So many women that I meet are so different than me. Some are freaks about working out and eating right. Some love bacon-wrapped everything and couldn't care less about their health. Some have absolutely no life outside of their kids, or husband, or boyfriend, and if you try to drag them out of the house for a glass of wine it ends up being just that--one glass of wine and then they rush back to their mommy-wifey-girlfriendy duties and I'm home before the sun goes down. Some can't have just a couple glasses of wine without getting hammered, ending up at some club downtown filled with scantily clad twentysomethings, and cabbing it home at 2 a.m. after a quick trip through the Taco Bell drive through, leaving me to suffer through a hangover while my 4 year old needs me bright and early the next day. Some are stay-at-home moms who only want to get together during the weekdays so our kids can play while we talk about diapers, dishes, and sexless marriages. Some are single and only want to get together after 11 p.m. on Saturday night to talk about anything other than parenting.

It's impossible. Impossible to find the kind of friendships I had in high school as a thirtysomething mom and wife with a full-time job. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha gave women everywhere unrealistic expectations of what friendships between adult women can be like. Everyone knows that husbands, babies, and jobs change all of that. In real life, Charlotte would have married an ultra-religious guy, become ultra-religious herself, and ultimately would pull away from the group, feeling offended by Samantha's nonstop shenanigans. Miranda's crazy work schedule, having a kid, getting married, and moving to Brooklyn would mean less time to hang with her besties, and they'd eventually become Facebook friends who catch up over a glass of wine about once every six months. Samantha would want to hang out with women who had more in common with her, making friends with a younger batch of singles after her three best friends all got married and/or had children. And don't even get me started on Carrie.

So what is a girl to do? We just moved our little family to Stapleton, an area of Denver that is ultra family friendly (but I refuse to call it "suburban"). Wouldn't it be great if I could find a lovely woman who likes to have fun, but not too much; is spiritual, but doesn't go to church; likes to exercise, but isn't a fanatic; likes day hikes in the mountains, but not mountain biking or camping; likes her share of fruits and veggies, but needs something deep fried or chocolaty every once in a while; and wants to be my friend? And, if her husband and my husband hit it off, and she had an almost-5-year-old little boy who loved hanging with my almost-5-year-old little boy...well, that would be pretty close to perfect.

So if you're a mom with a full-time job who fits that description, give me a call. We'll be besties.





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