Selective forgetfulness

You know how we can't remember things that happened to us at a very young age? Well, I don't think that lack of memory only applies to early childhood. I think new mothers experience the same thing--while their children are too young to remember anything, moms are also going through a time that they someday will no longer be able to recall. 

Otherwise, why would anyone willingly have more than one child?

I just read through all of my blog posts from 2009 and 2010. Posts about losing weight, maintaining weight loss after children arrive, sleepless nights, diarrhea and vomit, lack of "me time," etc. Some of the posts were pretty amusing. The funniest part, however, was the fact that so many of the events in those posts are things that I simply do not remember happening now. And the events that I do remember don't seem to be as significant and difficult now as they did at the time. Sure, Henry didn't sleep through the night for 11 months. Is that really a huge deal? At the time, I would have said something like, "Henry hasn't slept through the night. Ever. And he's ELEVEN MONTHS OLD. I'm dying. Exhausted and dying." Kinda dramatic, Sarah, don'tcha think?

Take the picture above, for example. I remember taking that picture. I remember thinking the world was coming to an end because my child wasn't napping and I was in desperate need of a workout. Look at me--I even had my workout clothes on. I had probably put him down for a nap, dressed in my workout clothes, only to be interrupted after two minutes on the treadmill by the crying of a cranky, non-napping baby. Looking at the photo, I remember how I just wanted to cry. What had happened to my life? I couldn't even run a mile without interruption. Looking back, it feels like I was being such a drama queen. 

The first year of Henry's life seemed to crawl by so slowly while it was actually happening. Now, it all seems like such a blur--like it flew by too quickly. I can hardly believe my little baby will be turning four in just a couple of months. I should have savored those moments instead of wishing them away. I should have realized how short that time of Henry's life actually was and tried to enjoy it more, instead of feeling sorry for myself. 

It seems so easy to think that way now. At the time, boy, was being a new mom rough. Come to think of it, being the mom of a three-and-a-half-year-old isn't the easiest thing, either. But, I'm sure enjoying it...and trying to make the most of those times when he's pushing every button I have--which is, like, all the time. But, that's okay. Those button-pushing moments will be nothing but a blur in a few years, and I'll look back on my blog wishing I could have them back.